Ever feel like your partner is slowly backing away? Fewer texts, less attention, and just a weird vibe? If so, then you might be experiencing “banksying dating”.
This new relationship trend is like ghosting but a little more sneaky and hurtful. If you want to know more, read on below!
So, What Is Banksying, Exactly?
It’s named after the street artist Banksy, and “banksying dating trend” is when someone lets a relationship just fade away instead of dealing with problems head-on. Unlike ghosting, which is super abrupt, banksying is slow, sneaky, and super confusing. It makes the other person super anxious, always wondering what happened, because you can see it’s happening, but there’s no real explanation.
People who engage in this behavior often struggle with conflict, fear loneliness, or simply lack the communication skills to deal with issues directly. Instead of talking things out, they let the connection die quietly, leaving their partner to piece together the signals.
Banksying vs Ghosting: What’s the Difference?
A lot of folks mix up banksying and ghosting, but there’s a big difference. Ghosting is like boom, gone! One day they’re there, the next, poof! Banksying, though? It’s more like watching a plant slowly die, the attention and love just fade away bit by bit, which is super confusing and hurts a lot.
Read more here: 7 Dating Tips For Seniors: Finding Love After 50 (Dos And Don’ts)
Signs You’re Being Banksyed
It can be tricky to spot at first, but if you notice several of these patterns in your relationship, someone might be banksying you:
- They reply late or without effort: Your texts or calls are deliberately left unread or unpicked for extended periods (hours or days) to show disinterest and manipulate. You might send a “How was your day?” and get a one-word reply hours later. It leaves you overthinking and wondering if they even care.
- There’s a lack of effort in the relationship: The little gestures that used to show love and attention slowly vanish. They stop planning dates, remembering important moments, or checking in when you’re stressed. It starts to feel like you’re the only one putting energy into the relationship.
- Flaky or canceled plans: They keep canceling or postponing hangouts, dates, or calls. Even small commitments seem hard for them to follow through on, making you feel undervalued and frustrated.
- Conversations become surface-level: Talks that used to be meaningful now feel forced or shallow. You used to share dreams, vent about life, or discuss deep topics, but now every chat is limited to short, generic responses like “cool” or “okay.”
- Withdrawal of emotional intimacy: They stop opening up to you about their feelings, struggles, or thoughts. If they once trusted you with personal stuff, now everything feels guarded or distant, leaving you unsure about your place in their life.
- Avoidance of conflict: When issues arise, they dodge conversations or make excuses. Trying to talk about problems might be met with “Let’s not fight” or complete silence, which leaves you carrying the emotional burden alone.
- Body language changes: Physical affection decreases noticeably. Hugs are shorter, eye contact is fleeting, or cuddles feel distant. Even small shifts in warmth and touch can signal emotional withdrawal.
- They follow new people on social media: You notice them engaging more with others online, liking, commenting, or following new people, while barely interacting with you. It can make you feel sidelined and anxious about their priorities.
- They seem emotionally distant or distracted: Even when you’re together, they might seem preoccupied or uninterested. You notice them scrolling on their phone, zoning out during conversations, or not remembering small details you’ve shared.
If you recognize several of these signs, it’s not just a rough patch, it could be banksying, and it’s important to acknowledge how it’s affecting you and decide whether to address it or step back.
Read more here: Reverse Gaslighting: 4 Signs They’re Flipping The Script On You
How To Deal With Banksying Breakup Trend
Unlike dramatic breakups, banksying ends quietly. There’s no argument, no explosive confrontation, just a slow drifting apart. For the person being banksyed, it’s confusing and emotionally draining. Unlike a clear breakup, you’re left guessing about your partner’s intentions and your relationship’s future.
In an age of texting, social media, and short attention spans, banksying dating has become a way for people to avoid uncomfortable conversations. It’s easier for some to slowly fade than to face confrontation or admit dissatisfaction. But this approach often causes more harm than good, leaving lingering doubts and emotional scars.
Banksying dating might feel subtle, but it’s toxic. If you recognize the signs, it’s okay to call it out, set boundaries, or even step away. Relationships thrive on communication and honesty, anything less is just letting something die quietly, and no one deserves that.
