A leading clinical psychologist is raising concerns about the growing trend of cutting off family members over political disagreements — often promoted on social media as “self-care.” While distancing oneself from toxic relationships can sometimes be healthy, Dr. Chloe Carmichael warns that automatic estrangement may actually deepen loneliness and cause harmful mental health effects.
“Cutting off your social support, cutting off your family members, creating loneliness and isolation for yourself, is actually the worst thing you can do for your mental health,” Carmichael told Fox News Digital. “That’s like eating Twinkies for health food.”
Carmichael, a clinical psychologist and author of Can I Say That? Why Free Speech Matters and How to Use It Fearlessly, argues that alienating loved ones over politics weakens emotional resilience, undermines family bonds, and strips individuals of a vital buffer against mental health effects such as anxiety, depression, and stress.
The Link Between Politics, Isolation, and Mental Health Effects
Recent years have seen a rise in younger Americans — particularly progressives — cutting ties with parents or relatives over political beliefs, especially regarding support for former President Donald Trump. According to Carmichael, this behavior contributes to what researchers are calling an “epidemic of loneliness,” which has well-documented mental health effects.
She highlights research from Tufts University showing that liberals, on average, report worse mental health than conservatives. Liberals are also more likely to engage in what she terms the “five Ds” — defriending, distancing, dropping relationships, disinviting, and declining to date — all based on political differences. Each of these can compound negative mental health effects, leaving people isolated and emotionally vulnerable.
Gallup data further shows that self-reported mental health among young adults has sharply declined. In the past decade, the number of Americans aged 18–29 who describe their mental health as “excellent” has dropped by 27 percentage points, with young women experiencing some of the steepest declines.
“Loneliness is toxic for our mental health,” Carmichael explained. “When we disconnect over politics, we risk replacing real human connection with isolation, which worsens anxiety, depression, and even physical mental health effects.”
When Boundaries Are Necessary
Carmichael acknowledges that in cases involving name-calling, hostility, or physical threats, creating distance is a healthy and sometimes necessary boundary. However, she cautions against using estrangement as the default response to disagreements, since the long-term mental health effects of disconnection often outweigh the short-term relief.
Instead, she recommends resilient listening — a practice of asking questions and listening with curiosity, even when another’s views feel frustrating or incomprehensible. “Resilient listening helps us preserve relationships, while also fostering compassion and empathy, which has positive mental health effects,” she said.
The Mental Health Effects of Open Dialogue
Carmichael emphasizes that free speech and open communication are not just political ideals — they are protective for well-being. She points to neuroscience showing that naming emotions reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, helping people feel calmer and more grounded.
“When we communicate openly, we create authentic relationships that act as a buffer against stress, anxiety, and depression,” Carmichael said. “It’s not about agreeing with everything — it’s about staying connected, even when we disagree. That sense of connection has some of the strongest positive mental health effects we can experience.”
She also encourages individuals to prepare for difficult conversations by role-playing scenarios, seeking support beforehand, and reviewing workplace or campus speech policies to feel more confident in self-expression. These strategies not only help conversations go smoother but also reduce the negative mental health effects of stress and conflict avoidance.
Fighting Polarization Through Connection
Ultimately, Carmichael believes that learning to engage across differences is crucial for both personal well-being and societal resilience. “We are not stuck in a false choice between free speech versus bullying,” she said. “When people have the right communication tools, we reduce hostility, build stronger connections, and fight misinformation through open dialogue. That reduces polarization while protecting us from harmful mental health effects.”
Her book arrives at a time when some political voices continue to encourage shunning relatives with opposing views. But Carmichael urges Americans to move away from estrangement and toward healthier, more resilient forms of communication.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) –
Q1: Is it ever healthy to cut ties with family over politics?
Yes, if a family member is abusive, threatening, or consistently toxic, creating distance can protect your mental health. However, cutting ties solely over differing opinions may increase loneliness and trigger harmful mental health effects.
Q2: How does loneliness affect mental health?
Loneliness has been linked to higher risks of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and even physical illnesses such as heart disease and weakened immunity. Strong social connections protect against these mental health effects.
Q3: What is “resilient listening”?
Resilient listening is the practice of asking questions and staying curious about another person’s perspective before reacting. This fosters empathy, helps regulate emotions, and reduces negative mental health effects from conflict.
Q4: Can open dialogue really improve mental health?
Yes. Neuroscience research shows that expressing emotions and communicating authentically lowers stress and strengthens social bonds, which are critical for positive mental health effects.
Q5: What’s the best way to handle political disagreements at family gatherings?
Set clear boundaries, practice respectful listening, and focus on shared values rather than conflicts. Preparing calm responses ahead of time helps avoid arguments and minimizes stressful mental health effects.
