Cheating, isn’t just about breaking trust – it messes with your head and heart in ways most people don’t talk about. Whether you’ve been cheated on or you’ve been the one who did it, the emotional fallout can run deep.
It can leave you feeling anxious, insecure, or even questioning your self-worth. Understanding how cheating affects your mental health is important if we really want to unpack what it does to people beyond just the relationship.
What Is Cheating?
Cheating is an act of dishonesty, deception, or fraudulent behavior undertaken to gain an unfair advantage or achieve undeserved benefits in a particular context. It involves violating rules, norms, or agreements that govern a specific situation, leading to an unfair outcome for others involved.
In psychology 1 Knopp, K., Scott, S., Ritchie, L., Rhoades, G. K., Markman, H. J., & Stanley, S. M. (2017). Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships. Archives of sexual behavior, 46(8), 2301–2311. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-1018-1 , infidelity is a behavior that can have far-reaching consequences on individuals and society. It often arises from complex psychological factors. For example, a student may cheat on an exam to avoid the fear of failure or to meet external expectations of success. Similarly, a person may undergo emotional cheating in a relationship to seek validation or excitement outside of a committed partnership.
Prevalence Of Cheating Behavior
Statistical data 2 Rabi, S. M., Patton, L. R., Fjortoft, N., & Zgarrick, D. P. (2006). Characteristics, prevalence, attitudes, and perceptions of academic dishonesty among pharmacy students. American journal of pharmaceutical education, 70(4), 73. https://doi.org/10.5688/aj700473 on cheating prevalence varies and is concerning.
Research indicates possible gender differences, with males more likely to cheat in competitive settings and females more prone to relational cheating, but these differences can be influenced by various factors and may not apply universally.
Signs Of Cheating

The common signs 3 Isakov, M., & Tripathy, A. (2017). Behavioral correlates of cheating: Environmental specificity and reward expectation. PloS one, 12(10), e0186054. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0186054 of cheating include:
- They’ve become more secretive and defensive than usual.
- There’s a noticeable emotional distance – they just don’t seem as connected anymore.
- Physical affection and intimacy have dropped off significantly.
- They’re suddenly super protective of their phone, almost like they’re hiding something.
- Their schedule feels vague or inconsistent, with unexplained absences.
- They struggle to explain where they’ve been at certain times.
- They start ignoring calls or texts, or their communication habits suddenly shift.
- Whenever you try to talk about it, they deflect or get defensive.
- You can’t shake off that gut feeling that something’s not right.
- There are odd charges or financial inconsistencies they can’t clearly explain.
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Why Do People Cheat?
Research 4 Miller B. (2013). On the analysis of cheating. The Journal of analytical psychology, 58(4), 530–546. https://doi.org/10.1111/1468-5922.12031 shows that people cheat for numerous reasons:
- Lack of satisfaction or fulfillment in the current relationship.
- Desire for novelty and excitement.
- Low self-control or impulse control.
- Seeking revenge or retaliation for perceived wrongdoings.
- Opportunistic behavior when presented with a chance to cheat.
- Low self-esteem or insecurity, seeking validation from others.
- An inability to resist temptation or peer pressure.
- Seeking an ego boost through wrongdoing.
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Life Risks Associated With Cheating

Several life risks 5 Amir, A., Kogut, T., & Bereby-Meyer, Y. (2016). Careful Cheating: People Cheat Groups Rather than Individuals. Frontiers in psychology, 7, 371. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00371 associated with cheating include:
- Trust and intimacy take a huge hit in the relationship, and it’s hard to go back to how things were.
- The person who cheated often deals with guilt, shame, and emotional chaos.
- The relationship may break down entirely, sometimes leading to separation or divorce.
- There can be financial fallout too, like legal battles, settlements, or splitting assets.
- Word gets around, and the social stigma can seriously affect one’s reputation.
- Friendships and support systems might fall apart as people take sides or pull away.
- Mental health often takes a dive, with anxiety, depression, and even identity struggles kicking in.
- In some cases, emotions run so high that things turn physically confrontational.
- If kids or family are involved, they can feel the ripple effects of the betrayal too.
- Depending on where you live, there could even be legal consequences tied to infidelity.
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Cheating And Mental Health
Cheating and mental health are inversely related, leading to various negative effects. Cheaters often experience overwhelming guilt and shame, along with increased anxiety and depression 6 Whisman M. A. (2016). Discovery of a Partner Affair and Major Depressive Episode in a Probability Sample of Married or Cohabiting Adults. Family process, 55(4), 713–723. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12185 due to the fear of being caught and the weight of deception.
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This emotional turmoil can result in social isolation, as individuals may feel too ashamed to confide in others, leading to a decline in trust and difficulties forming healthy social relationships. These emotions can become overwhelming and difficult to cope with, leading to a downward spiral of negative thoughts and feelings.
Additionally, cognitive dissonance may arise from holding conflicting beliefs and values, adding to the emotional strain 7 Mao, A., & Raguram, A. (2009). Online infidelity: The new challenge to marriages. Indian journal of psychiatry, 51(4), 302–304. https://doi.org/10.4103/0019-5545.58299 experienced by cheaters. Sleep problems, changes in eating habits, and even potential substance abuse can further compound the mental health toll of emotional cheating.
Overall, the fear of reputation damage and a diminished sense of self-worth contribute to the complex and adverse effects of infidelity on mental well-being.
Pathological Cheating
Pathological cheating, also known as compulsive or chronic 8 Seeman M. V. (2016). Pathological Jealousy: An Interactive Condition. Psychiatry, 79(4), 379–388. https://doi.org/10.1080/00332747.2016.1175838 cheating, is a behavioral disorder characterized by an uncontrollable and repetitive pattern of engaging in infidelity or dishonesty across various contexts.
Unlike occasional infidelity, which may be driven by specific/certain circumstances or temptations, pathological cheating is a compulsive behavior that becomes a pervasive part of the individual’s life, significantly impacting their relationships, work, and overall well-being.
Individuals with this condition often struggle 9 Ortigue, S., & Bianchi-Demicheli, F. (2011). Intention, false beliefs, and delusional jealousy: insights into the right hemisphere from neurological patients and neuroimaging studies. Medical science monitor : international medical journal of experimental and clinical research, 17(1), RA1–RA11. https://doi.org/10.12659/msm.881314 to resist the impulse to cheat, despite being aware of the harmful consequences. Pathological cheaters may experience a lack of satisfaction or thrill from their actions, leading to an ongoing cycle of deception and emotional distress for both themselves and those around them.
How Being Cheated On Affects Your Mental Health
Emotional cheating can leave deep scars on your mental health. It often brings up intense feelings like betrayal, anger, sadness, and a sharp drop in self-worth. The experience can shake your trust in others and make you doubt your own instincts, leaving you unsure about how to build or maintain healthy relationships in the future.
Anxiety and depression may follow, accompanied by intrusive thoughts and difficulty concentrating. In cases of partner infidelity, some individuals may develop a fear of future romantic involvement 10 Rokach, A., & Chan, S. H. (2023). Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences. International journal of environmental research and public health, 20(5), 3904. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20053904 or struggle to establish new connections due to lingering emotional wounds.
How To Deal With Cheating Behavior
Consider the following measures 11 Galil, A., Gidron, M., Yarmolovsky, J., & Geva, R. (2021). Cognitive strategies for managing cheating: The roles of cognitive abilities in managing moral shortcuts. Psychonomic bulletin & review, 28(5), 1579–1591. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13423-021-01936-7 on how to deal with cheating behavior:
- Verify the cheating incident and gather evidence if possible.
- Address the issue directly with the person involved.
- Involve appropriate authorities or supervisors if needed.
- Promote ethical behavior and a culture of honesty and integrity.
- Implement consequences or disciplinary actions as per policies.
- Offer support and resources for individuals facing external pressures.
- Educate and raise awareness about the negative impacts of infidelity.
- Foster a fair and inclusive environment that discourages cheating.
- Provide opportunities for redemption and learning from mistakes.
- Establish clear guidelines and consequences for cheating.
How To Deal With Cheating Behavior In A Relationship
Consider the following measures 12 Parks-Leduc, L., Guay, R. P., & Mulligan, L. M. (2022). The Relationships between Personal Values, Justifications, and Academic Cheating for Business vs. Non-Business Students. Journal of academic ethics, 20(4), 499–519. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10805-021-09427-z on how to deal with cheating behavior in a romantic relationship:
- Have an honest conversation with your partner to hear their side and express how you feel.
- Give yourself space to reflect and figure out what you really want moving forward.
- Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist to help process everything you’re feeling.
- Set clear boundaries and talk about what’s okay and what’s not going forward.
- Think about trying couples therapy to work through the deeper issues together.
- Keep the lines of communication open because it’s key if there’s any hope of rebuilding trust.
- Understand that healing takes time, and be patient with yourself and each other.
- Reevaluate whether the relationship is worth continuing and if real change is possible.
- Ask yourself if forgiveness feels right and aligns with your emotional well-being.
- Take care of yourself – mentally, emotionally, and physically – throughout the entire process.
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Takeaway
Cheating is a multifaceted issue with wide-ranging consequences, but with awareness, understanding, and support, individuals and relationships can navigate the challenges and move towards a healthier, more fulfilling future.
By valuing honesty, empathy, and open communication, we can foster an environment where infidelity becomes less likely, and emotional well-being can thrive.
At A Glance
- Infidelity is an act of dishonesty that violates rules and norms to gain an unfair advantage.
- It can occur in various domains, including relationships, academics, sports, and business.
- Cheating and mental health are inversely related, leading to severe life risks and relationship issues.
- Pathological cheating is a compulsive behavior with significant consequences.
- Being cheated on can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, and difficulty forming new connections.
- Dealing with cheating requires open communication, self-reflection, and professional help.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. What is considered as cheating in a relationship?
Cheating in a relationship is considered as any act of dishonesty or betrayal that breaches the trust and commitment between partners.
2. Does emotional cheating count as infidelity in relationships?
Yes, emotional cheating is considered a form of infidelity in relationships as it involves forming an intimate connection with someone outside the committed partnership, even without physical involvement.
3. Is cheating on a relationship normal?
Cheating on a relationship is not considered normal or acceptable behavior, as it can lead to significant harm, trust issues, and emotional distress for both partners involved.