Do you have a feeling that your partner is pretending to love you? On the surface, it might look like smiles, sweet texts, and all the right moves. But deep down? It’s often just faking happiness to avoid the truth.
If you’ve been feeling off lately, picking up on weird vibes, or feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner, you’re not alone. Sometimes, people stay in relationships out of habit, fear, or guilt – not love. And that quiet emotional disconnect in a relationship? It shows.
If you have been sensing the signs someone is pretending to be happy, here are 9 red flags you shouldn’t ignore.
Related: Relationship Uncertainty: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
If They’re Pretending to Love You, These 9 Signs Will Expose It
1. They Make Plans That Don’t Include You
When someone’s truly happy with you, you are automatically part of their plans. Not because they are obligated to include you, but because they want to. You cross their mind when they’re booking that weekend getaway or making dinner plans.
But when they start doing things solo, be it trips, hangouts, even simple stuff like Friday night dinners, and you’re never factored in? That’s not independence, that’s you feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner.
It’s not just “I need some space.” It’s more like “I’m building a life where you don’t really fit anymore.” That kind of slow fade? It’s one of the biggest giveaways that they are feeling emotionally disconnected from their partner.
2. They Choose Solitude Over Staying The Night
Remember when staying over felt like second nature? Falling asleep tangled up, no questions asked? If they suddenly start choosing their own bed over yours, even when there’s no real reason to, then know that something’s shifted.
Sure, everyone needs a little space sometimes. But when shared nights turn into solo ones every time, it might not just be about recharging. It could be about retreating.
Sometimes, sleeping alone is easier than pretending everything’s okay. If your once-cuddly partner now avoids overnights altogether, don’t ignore it. This sort of emotional disconnect in a relationship often speaks louder than words.
3. Their Phone Gets More Attention Than You
This is one of the subtle signs someone is pretending to love you. At some point, we have all felt this – that sting when they are scrolling non-stop, laughing at memes, and replying to everyone but you. It’s like you are invisible.
If they are spending more time on their phone, rather than with you, then it’s not just bad manners, it’s a huge red flag. Because it’s not really about the phone; it’s about where they are choosing to invest their energy, and it’s not you.
If you are starting to feel like background noise whenever you try to spend some quality time with them, ask yourself: are they happy with you, or just avoiding what they don’t want to feel?
4. Physical Closeness Fades Away
You don’t need to be all over each other all the time, but when the little things disappear? Like the random kisses, the hand-holding, the easy touch while passing by, that’s when it starts to sting.
Someone can still say “I love you” and yet pull away when you reach for them. That quiet shift in physical closeness? It’s not just about touch, it’s about emotion.
If cuddles feel awkward now or intimacy’s gone MIA, chances are they are not fully in it anymore. Sometimes, the body pulls back long before the words do.
Related: 4 Revealing Signs Your Relationship Is Ending
5. You Spot Their Dating Profile Back Online
This is not a subtle sign someone is pretending to be happy with you. And honestly, it hurts like hell. If you come across their Bumble or Tinder profile, while you are still together, that’s not really a slip-up or a mistake – it’s a sign.
People don’t “accidentally” reactivate dating apps. They do it when they feel curious, restless, or already halfway out the door.
When someone’s faking happiness, they might stay physically, but emotionally, they have already started browsing their next chapter. It’s not just shady. It’s a crystal-clear sign they’re checked out, and you’re just the placeholder.
6. They Keep Saying No to Your Invitations
One of the biggest signs they are pretending to love you is this. No matter what plans you make, they are always “busy”. If their answer of always “maybe next time” and that time never seems to come, then it’s a red flag.
This is a pattern, and when it comes to matters of love and relationship, patterns matter.
When someone keeps dodging the fun, easy moments, especially the stuff that used to bring you closer to your – it’s often because the are already drifting emotionally. Saying no to plans isn’t about being busy, it’s about not wanting see you at all.
When every invite turns into an excuse, yo can’t help but wonder: are they still in this with you, or just playing along?
7. Public Affection Vanishes Completely
Gone are those days when they used to grab your hands without thinking. A quick peck at the red light, a playful nudge at a cafe? These little gestures matter a lot, not because they weren’t forced, but because they were felt.
But now? Nothing. No hand-holding. No lingering glances. Maybe even a subtle pull-away when you try to touch them in public.
That shift says more than words ever could. When public affection disappears, it’s often because the feelings behind it are fading too. You don’t stop reaching for someone you feel close to – you stop when there’s emotional disconnect in a relationship.
8. Conversations About the Future Get Dodged
Whenever you want to talk about the future, be it the trip you planned, or something as simple as Christmas plans, they go weirdly quiet and seem to avoid the conversation. They get vague and shrug it off.
When someone avoids talking about the future, it’s usually because they are not sure you are part of theirs. They are not getting cold feet – they are making a soft exit.
If they have stopped dreaming with you, stopped planning for you, and keep everything in the “maybe” zone, chances are there is a lot of emotional disconnect in a relationship, even if they haven’t said it yet.
Related: 10 Warning Signs Your Relationship Has Ended
9. You Notice a Drop in Calls and Texts
Remember when the texts came nonstop? Random memes, “miss you” messages, late-night calls that went on forever? Now… it’s just silence. Or worse, you are always the one starting the conversation, and their replies feel like obligation, not excitement.
When someone’s emotionally involved with you, talking to you feels like second nature. Effortless, Wanted. However, when the spark fades, and they are faking happiness and pretending to love you, communication starts to die.
They will reply just enough to keep the illusion alive, but deep down, they have already checked out from the relationship. So, if you are starting to feel more like a pen pal than a partner, then it’s time stop ignoring that gut feeling.
If these signs someone is pretending to be happy hits home, then don’t brush it off. That ache in your chest? That uneasy feeling? That’s your gut instinct trying to tell you something.
Emotional disconnect in a relationship isn’t always loud, but it’s felt. And while some distance can be bridged with honest conversations, pretending to love someone or staying just to avoid hurting them? That runs deeper.
You deserve real connection. The kind built on trust, effort, and emotional safety. If you are not getting that, you are not being “needy” – you’re just asking for what should already be there.
