How you handle conflict can say a lot about who you are as a person, and it definitely affects your relationships, work, friendships, family life.
Whether it’s an argument with your partner, or just figuring out where to go for dinner, knowing the different types of conflict styles can help you navigate your way through drama.
But understanding the types of conflict styles, and your own go-to approach can play a huge role in helping you feel less stressed out. Let’s find out the different types of conflict styles and what they say about you.
Related: Intentional Relationship Conflict: Exploring The Flames – Wildfire Or Bonfire?
Why Understanding Conflict Styles Actually Matters
Conflict is unavoidable, and there’s no point denying it because that’s life. However, not all disagreements or arguments need to blow up into ugly fights. The way you deal with stressful situations can either make your relationships stronger or create more distance.
hat’s where understanding the different types of conflict styles comes in handy. Some situations need compromise, others need you to stand your ground.
When you know very well how you handle conflict, it’s nothing less than a superpower when it comes to better communication and understanding.
How You Handle Conflict: 7 Different Types of Conflict Styles
1. Avoiding (The Turtle)
The Avoiding style is basically the “I’m just gonna pretend this isn’t happening” approach. You react like this to conflicts because you want to try and dodge the problem altogether.
Maybe you change the subject, leave the room, or simply hope that time will magically fix everything and make it go away. It’s actually one of the most common ways to handle conflict when everything feels a bit too overwhelming or unimportant.
However, while avoiding arguments can sometimes help cool things down, it will only do so for a while; the issue will not disappear and it will keep popping up. If overused, it leads to bottled-up frustration. So, avoid tension, but try to do so wisely!
2. Competing (The Shark)
The Competing style is all about winning. If this is your style, then you are assertive, confident, and not afraid to push for what you want – even if it ruffles feathers.
It’s one of those types of conflict styles that can feel aggressive, but it has its place. In high-stakes situations, like emergencies or when clear leadership is needed, competing gets results fast.
But constantly using this style in everyday disagreements? It can come off as controlling or stubborn. Great for a quick decision, not so great for long-term relationships.
3. Accommodating (The Teddy Bear)
The Accommodating style is when you put someone else’s needs ahead of your own just to keep the peace. You are someone who likes to keep things chill rather than fight about it.
It’s one of the gentler conflict management styles, and it shows that you are a very kind and empathetic person. This style works well when the issue isn’t a big deal to you but matters to the other person.
However, keep in mind that if you are always the one compromising, then your needs and opinions get buried, which can lead to bitterness and suppressed anger. So, try to be honest once in a while about your emotions.
4. Compromising (The Fox)
Compromising is the classic “meet me halfway” approach, and it’s probably the most familiar of all the different types of conflict styles. Both sides give up a little to find a solution that works for everyone, even if it’s not perfect.
It’s one of the best ways to handle conflict when you don’t have a lot of time in your hand, or when both of you have equally important goals.
The upside? Quick solutions. The downside? Nobody gets exactly what they want. This might be great for resolving minor issues and setbacks, but not really an ideal solution when core values are at stake.
Related: A Secret Code Word for Couples During Conflict
5. Collaborating (The Owl)
The Collaborating conflict style is considered to be the gold standard when it comes to resolving issues. It’s about working together to find a win-win solution where everyone’s needs are fully addressed.
If this is you style, then you are someone who doesn’t settle, instead you dig deep, focus on having open conversations, and brainstorm until both sides are genuinely happy.
Sure, it takes time and effort, but the payoff is huge: stronger relationships, fair solutions, and no lingering resentment.
This is one of the best ways to handle conflict when the issue is important to everyone involved and you care about not disappointing anyone and maintaining everyone’s trust.
6. Passive-Aggressive (The Chameleon)
Ah, the sneaky Passive-Aggressive style – the master of sarcasm, subtle digs, or silent treatment. It’s one of those types of conflict styles where you might look calm on the surface but are actually simmering inside.
You might not confront the issue directly, but you will definitely express your anger and frustration in subtle ways. You may slam the door on your way out, or not reply if someone is asking you a question.
This approach often comes from fear of confrontation or not feeling heard. While this may avoid immediate drama, passive-aggressive behavior slowly builds a lot of confusion and bitterness within.
It’s not really the healthiest way to handle conflicts.
7. Yielding and Moving On (The River)
The Yielding style is all about consciously choosing to let the conflict go. However you don’t do this out of avoidance, but out of wisdom. You believe that sometimes the ways to handle conflict is to realize that the issue isn’t worth your time and energy.
If this is more of your style, then you are not really ignoring the problem, you have simply decided that it’s not a battle worth fighting.
This stems from a place of emotional maturity, personal growth, and having the emotional intelligence in knowing when and where to pick your battles.
However, if overdone, it can make people think that you are a doormat. So yield, but with intention.
Takeaway
Conflict doesn’t have to be scary or messy. Once you understand the different types of conflict styles, you can tackle disagreements with way more confidence and clarity.
Whether you’re compromising with a coworker, solving personal problems with your partner, or realizing it’s time to yield and move on – how you handle conflict shapes your relationships and your peace of mind.
Related: What’s Your Conflict Style? 6 Styles Of Engaging In Conflict
So, next time you feel the tension rise, remember: You’ve got options. And that’s half the battle won.
