Dating trends keep getting weirder, and the latest one takes its name from the ogre we all (mostly) love. But don’t let the name fool you: Shrekking isn’t about fairy tale romance.
And this trend is definitely not a compliment for your partner…
Read more here: 7 Signs You’re Spiritually Married To Someone Without Realizing It
So, What Is Shrekking?
Shrekking is when you date someone you consider “below your standards.” The idea is that because you’re “out of their league,” you’ll have the upper hand. You might think they’ll be more appreciative, less likely to reject you, and that you’ll be emotionally safe.
Sounds smart, but here’s the twist: it rarely works that way. Psychology tells us that trying to control relationships for safety or status often backfires, leaving people disappointed, hurt, or feeling manipulative.
Why Do People Shrek?
Dating can feel risky, and many of us want some control. Shrekking can seem like a “safety net”:
- You assume your partner is less likely to hurt you emotionally.
- You feel empowered because you perceive the power dynamic in your favor.
- It can give a temporary confidence boost, making you feel “in-demand.”
But this dating strategy can backfire. Dating someone you think is “below your league” can still leave you vulnerable to rejection, heartbreak, or regret.
The Pros of Shrekking Dating Trend
1. Confidence Boost
Dating someone you perceive as less “desirable” can make you feel more attractive or in control. This is tied to self-esteem: when you feel dominant in a relationship, it can temporarily improve your confidence.
2. Dating Feels Easier
You might feel less pressure to impress or overanalyze interactions. Psychologically, this can reduce anxiety in early stages of dating, but it’s often short-lived.
3. Learning What You Really Want
Even if it doesn’t last, Shrekking can teach you what qualities matter most: kindness, humor, shared values. Sometimes dating “down” helps you see beyond superficial traits that are less important.
The Cons of Shrekking
1. Emotional Backfire
Even if you think you’re in control, your partner can still reject you, set unexpected boundaries, or end the relationship. Control is an illusion in love.
2. Feels Manipulative
Dating someone mainly because you think they’re beneath you can create guilt, tension, and inauthentic behavior. Psychology shows that manipulative intentions often harm both parties and reduce relationship satisfaction.
3. Missed Genuine Connections
Focusing on “leagues” can blind you to meaningful relationships. By prioritizing control over compatibility, you may pass up someone who truly aligns with your values and sparks real chemistry.
Read more here: 7 Dating Tips For Seniors: Finding Love After 50 (Dos And Don’ts)
The Takeaway
Shrekking is a reminder that love doesn’t follow rules or strategies. Trying to “date down” might feel safe or convenient, but happiness comes from respect, honesty, and genuine connection, not control.
So what are your thoughts? Have you tried this shrekking dating trend? Or are you against it? Let’s us know in the comments below!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is Shrekking meaning in dating?
This dating trend refers to dating someone you consider “below your standards.” The idea is that because you’re out of their league, they’ll be more appreciative, less likely to reject you.
What is getting shreked?
To shrek means to date someone you’re not attracted to, hoping that they’ll treat you better. And getting shreked is when someone attractive dates you even though you’re not that attractive only because they think you’ll worship them.
What does it mean if someone calls you Shrek?
“Shrek” is a slang or toxic term used to call people who are less attractive.
