5 Must-Do’s Before Texting Your Ex (That Will Change Your Mind)

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The urge hits out of nowhere. Maybe it’s a song, a memory, or just a slow afternoon that makes you wonder—Should I text them? But before you do, stop and think. There are things to do before texting your ex that can help you decide if this is a good idea or just a fleeting impulse.

It’s easy to romanticize the past or convince yourself that one little message won’t hurt. But reaching out to an ex isn’t just about what you want to say; it’s about what happens next.

So before you open that chat, let’s talk. A little perspective might change everything.

5 Things to Do Before Texting Your Ex

1. Identify the Emotion Behind the Urge to Text Your Ex

The first step in knowing what to do before texting an ex is understanding why you feel the urge. Are you lonely? Curious? Seeking closure? Identifying the emotion behind your desire to contact an ex can help you determine if it’s coming from a place of emotional need or if it’s just a fleeting moment of weakness. Sometimes, just acknowledging what you’re feeling can be enough to help you gain clarity.

2. Do the Opposite of What Your Emotion Wants You to Do

It’s easy to act on impulse, especially when emotions are running high. If your immediate instinct is to reach out, try doing the opposite. Instead of texting your ex, try stepping back and waiting. When we let emotions guide our actions, we often make decisions we’ll regret later. By resisting the urge to text your ex, you create space to think more clearly and avoid impulsive decisions. This is one of the key things to do before texting your ex if you want to protect your heart.

3. Check Your Thoughts About the Situation

Before contacting an ex after a breakup, check your thoughts. Are you romanticizing the past? Are you focusing on the good moments and forgetting the reasons you broke up in the first place? Sometimes, our minds can play tricks on us, and it’s important to take a step back and reflect on why the relationship ended. Take a moment to write down your thoughts and see if you’re idealizing the situation or if reaching out is truly a healthy decision.

4. Write Out the Pros and Cons of Getting in Contact With Your Ex

One of the most helpful things to do before texting your ex is to sit down and make a list. What are the benefits of contacting them? What are the risks? Could it lead to closure, or will it only stir up old feelings and confusion? Writing out the pros and cons of getting in contact with your ex helps you view the situation objectively. This can also remind you of the reasons you parted ways in the first place, making it easier to resist the temptation to text.

5. Soothe Yourself Using All Five of Your Senses

Instead of reaching for your phone, try soothing yourself with something that engages all five senses. Take a walk outside, listen to your favorite music, light a scented candle, enjoy a warm cup of tea, or wrap yourself in a cozy blanket. By redirecting your attention, you give yourself the emotional space needed to clear your head. When you’re calm and centered, you’ll have a much clearer perspective on what to do before texting an ex.

Final Thoughts

Texting your ex might feel like the right move in the moment, but it’s worth taking the time to think it through. By identifying your emotions, challenging your thoughts, and finding healthier ways to cope, you can make a choice that’s best for your well-being. And sometimes, the best thing you can do… is nothing at all.