Experts caution about spending holidays with narcissistic people as the festive period nears.
Renowned psychologists and therapists reveal what it’s like dealing with narcissists during Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve, birthdays and other occasions.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a respected psychologist and author, highlights how idealized holiday visions clash with the overpowering nature of narcissists.
She says, “They dominate and overpower everything else including holiday celebrations.”
In other words, these individuals tend to hijack festivities unless they are being attended to.
Chelsey Cole is a veteran psychotherapist as well as an author who explains that narcissists consistently undermine holidays by making them all about themselves instead of focusing on the occasion at hand.
Sometimes this means causing unnecessary drama or sulking around during festive times leading to bad times for everyone involved.
According to Durvasula, disruptions in routine during holidays make it harder to deal with narcissism.
For those seeking joyous celebration amidst narcissistic behavior such as dashed expectations coupled with lack of regular escapes or distractions often results in sadness and disappointment due to unfulfilled needs
One thing experts have identified as being difficult for many is having no empathy shown by narcissistic people especially when emotions run high over some seasons like winter solstice festival.
This means that they only think about receiving attention, sympathy or control rather than considering others’ experiences during this period says Cole.
Speaking specifically about birthdays Dr. Durvasula mentions that the need for constant validation makes them unsatisfied even on their own special day.
Despite all efforts put into celebrating their day they feel like it’s never enough, so they end up being mean or causing havoc everywhere they go instead of enjoying themselves.
Stephanie Sarkis who is also a therapist and writer shares similar sentiments adding that sometimes these individuals may feel overlooked angry or unappreciated on their birthday too.
This is because sometimes reality doesn’t meet expectations leading confrontations where they try turning people’s attention back onto them even though it was supposed be about others in the first place.
Moreover, some narcissists may seize upon another person’s birthday as an opportunity for fulfilling their own need for attention and validation.
For example, they might arrange elaborate parties for their children not because it brings joy but rather to draw focus on themselves.
Experts suggest the following practical strategies when dealing with narcissistic people during holidays or birthdays:
Managing Expectations: Understand that narcissists may not acknowledge efforts put into celebrating occasions since they live in a fantasy world where what they want is automatically anticipated but never spoken aloud.
Setting Boundaries: Protect yourself by establishing limits regarding how much time you can spend around narcissistic individuals at once.
This could involve telling them beforehand about your availability or other related terms then sticking with it no matter what response follows thereafter.
Choosing Company Wisely: Prioritize spending quality moments with friends who bring out happiness and positivity while avoiding those relatives known for showing narcissism tendencies.
Realistic Outlook: Do not expect holidays to be exactly as pictured especially when dealing with family members who are narcissists.
Instead accept what happens during these periods as normal and work towards making them better next time round, if possible, without putting any blame on anybody including yourself.
Self-Care Priority: Find time for personal activities which give you pleasure away from living under constant surveillance of selfishness.
Engage yourself into something else entirely different from usual daily routine that makes you happy hence acting like a relief from being controlled all over again by someone else’s actions only done out self-interest reasons.
The holiday season, usually associated with warmth and happiness suddenly turns into a period full of tension and distress when narcissists are involved.
It should therefore be noted that in order to achieve some peace within us we must learn how best handle these situations as well as protect our personal well-being during such gatherings.
