- A new TikTok trend promotes the idea of “marriage after baby”.
- This raised a debate on the pros and cons of marital and premarital parenthood.
What Is Premarital Parenthood?
Premarital parenthood is the type of parenthood in which a couple shares a biological child before marriage. This is in contrast to married parenthood in which a couple welcomes a baby after marriage.
Tiktok’s “Marriage After Baby” Trend
A recent TikTok trend promoted the idea of “marriage after baby” for both married parents and unmarried parents looking forward to marriage. It stressed that parenthood, under any circumstances, can be extremely challenging.
An intimate-partner relationship inevitably changes after the arrival of the children. Therefore, it is necessary for parents and co-parents to take some time out for themselves.
Benefits Of Premarital Parenthood
Premarital parenthood provides opportunities for parenthood without the hassles of legal obligations and societal expectations. The partners enjoy greater freedom of choice when it comes to raising their children.
They can also be involved in their children’s lives, despite being incompatible as a couple in an intimate relationship. They can also test their compatibility in lifestyles, communication, parenting goals, and financial arrangements.
Cons Of Premarital Parenthood
Studies associate lower levels of psychological well-being and marital satisfaction with pre-marital births compared to post-marital births. Premarital parents often enter into an unhappy marriage after the baby is born.
Their marital functioning is poor, frequently marked by negative and mechanical communication, maladaptive adjustment strategies, and reduced couple time. Moreover, couples raising children before marriage are at greater vulnerability to an identity crisis, marital distress, and relationship dissolution.
Premarital parenthood is often stigmatized in certain cultures and this creates logistical and administrative difficulties in raising biological children.
The stress and frustration linked to parenthood sans legal protection can also make the co-parents susceptible to baby blues, anxiety, mood disorders, substance abuse, etc. This may contribute to negative developmental experiences for the children involved, such as:
- Parental abuse
- Parental neglect and abandonment
- Childhood abuse
Much like marital parenthood, premarital parenthood comes with its own risks and shortcomings. Nonetheless, it’s okay to say that there is no right or wrong way toward approaching parenthood.
The parents or co-parents involved should approach this exciting phase in life in their own ways and at a comfortable pace. It also helps to prioritize the children’s needs above their own and work on what appears to be in the little ones’ best interests.