Sharon Zawadi, a 22-year-old woman, shares her powerful story of toxic father’s betrayal and overcoming the effect of toxic paternal love on her mental health. In an exclusive interview with Wananchi Reporting, Sharon opens up about her challenging experiences of daddy issues and how they have shaped her life.
Growing up, Sharon idolized her father and cherished the love of both her parents, despite their modest means. Her father taught her valuable skills like riding a bike, took her to car shows, and showed her how to change a tire. However, as Sharon entered adulthood, her father’s excessive drinking habits exposed a darker side characterized by abuse and betrayal.
“He became controlling and emotionally abusive, constantly diminishing my achievements,” Sharon recalls. She found herself walking on eggshells, never knowing what would trigger him. Painfully, she remembers nights when she had to cover her ears to drown out the sounds of her drunk father physically assaulting her mother. The abuse extended to the daytime, with him banging doors, throwing objects at Sharon and her siblings, and even harming her mother.
One particular incident stands out in Sharon’s memory about her abusive father. Her mother had just won a prestigious writing competition, offering hope for a better future.
Excited and proud, the family celebrated her achievements, but their joy turned to horror when her intoxicated father arrived and seized all the rewards. He viciously attacked them, leaving her mother unconscious before disappearing forever. The traumatic event of abuse and betrayal left them with nothing.
Despite their perseverance, the scars of Sharon’s experience of toxic paternal love took a toll on her mental health. She battled anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In an attempt to deal with the abusive home and depression, she turned to self-destructive behaviors such as self-harm, engaging in cutting and burning, as a means to seek temporary relief from her emotional anguish. It is crucial to note that self-harm is not a solution and does not address underlying problems.
Recognizing the need for help related to her daddy issues, Sharon eventually sought the assistance of a psychologist who provided the support she needed to find hope again. Refusing to let her past define her, she turned to her talents in writing and photography, using them as outlets for self-expression and discovering a renewed sense of purpose.
“I have forgiven my father. I will not allow his actions to derail my future. I hope he can become a better person for his next family,” Sharon affirms. Today, she aspires to become a successful writer and photographer, dedicating her life to helping others who have endured similar struggles. She encourages her peers facing similar challenges to seek therapy, emphasizing that suppressing trauma can be the result of abuse and mental health issues.
Sharon’s story highlights the importance of accessible mental health services in Kenya. Free and subsidized counseling options exist, with government institutions offering support at reduced rates.
Recognizing signs of abusive home and depression, withdrawal from once-enjoyed activities, neglect of personal grooming, and extreme mood swings can help loved ones identify abuse and mental health disorders. Sharon’s toxic father’s betrayal and her journey serves as a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the possibility of healing and transformation even in the face of abusive home.
